Sunday, June 1, 2014

A Certain Encounter: Moschops (1961 NU)

By Craig: It was a thickset lumbering beast nearly twelve feet long with a robust calf-like face. In a way it reminded me of a gigantic toad, but its skin was not warty or covered with scales, rather it was smooth, like the skin of an amphibious lizard. It was a docile creature that had the ambling gait of a tortoise, but could move surprisingly fast when the need arose. It was content to munch on the ferns and lycopods that dominated the eco-system of the upper Permian. It was the Moschops!

The Moschops was not really a dinosaur per-se, because it lived in the geological time period before the dinosaurs appeared. It was, however, still considered among many to be a precursor to those intimidating giants who dominated the landscape of the later Mesozoic. It seemed to thrive well in the region now known as South Africa where it's fossilized remains have been found and were first identified at the beginning of the 20th century by the Scottish Geologist Robert Broom.

I first became acquainted with Mr. Moschops when I was five years old. My brother and I received a Marx dinosaur play set for Christmas. Among the many dinosaurs in the set was a squatty white Moschops. I don't know why, but for some reason it quickly became one of my favorite models in the set. Perhaps it had something to do with the resemblance to the toads that I frequently saw hopping along in my grandfather's garden. A few years later I had another encounter with Moschops. This time my brother and I found a Moschops trading card that was part of a set of 80 cards depicting various prehistoric creatures issued by NU-Cards in 1961. It was a blue bordered card with a black and white image in the center which featured a family of Moschops'. The image is taken from a painting by the late Czech artist Zdenek Burian.  I look at that card now these many years later and turn it over to read the short caption on the back.

                 "A Family of MOCHOPS look pretty to each other-but to no one else."


I suddenly find myself transported to the South African plains of the Permian period some 260 million years ago. I am standing in front of the black and white family of Burian's Moschops. At first everything is still, but gradually the black and white scene changes into colour and I am soon looking toward the eastern sky and notice the bright Permian Sun shining its magnificence upon an earlier time. It is a beautiful sunny, yellow, morning on the plains of Karoo, but my breathing is heavy due to the different Nitrogen/Oxygen ratio of our planet in this remote geological period of time.

"I'll not be running a marathon today!" I exclaimed.  It was directed at no one in particular, and since there are no humans around, it would seem that the Moschops closest to me was the receiver of my declaration.

"Excuse me? What did you say?" It asked.

I took a deep breath and smiled. "Well Mr. Moschops since I am from a time in the future, far distant to your own, my lungs need to adapt to the atmosphere of your time."

"Well, bloody bad luck for you matey! I can breathe just fine." He replied.

"Well good for you Mr. Chops! It will take millions of years for my lungs to evolve if I have to stay in your time, and I m afraid that my lifetime is not that long....matey!"

He laughed. His huge teeth jutting out from his brown mouth.
"Aw come on now, the Permian isn't such a bad time to live." He said.  "Just look around you matey...Do you see any of the pollution and corruption that encompasses the Earth in your time?" Where are all the smokestacks and automobiles with their noxious fumes? Where are all the criminals running around with their guns shooting at people in schools and restaurants? There are no wars here, no weapons of mass destruction, nobody thinking that their religion is superior to someone else's. No greedy capitalists, communists, socialists, jingoists, monarchists, feudalists, anarchists, or any other ISTS that I can think of. There are no conservatives, liberals, democrats, republicans, Whigs, Tories, senators, kings, queens, dictators, premieres, presidents, secretaries, prime ministers or any other egotistical title that is eagerly sought in your time. Why? Because there are no humans! Those arrogant smelly perverted creatures don't exist!
No sir, there is only the flowing water of that stream, and the distant sun to warm us. We have plenty of food and want for nothing here in the Permian."

I shrugged. "I guess you summed up life in my times Mr. Moschops. So...well...what would you recommend that I do? Should I hike to the summit of that volcano in the distance and hurl myself into the cauldron?"

Mr. Moschops  chuckled. "I certainly wouldn't recommend that! It would be just a bit too dramatic wouldn't you say?"

I glanced behind Mr. Moschops to see two of his family members taking a drink from the stream. I began to reflect on the words that had just been spoken by my new found friend. Everything seemed peaceful here. No bills to pay, no deadlines to meet, no dealing with the hustle and bustle of competitive corporate America with all of its primitive bullshit ideologies and dogma. Sure, there were some small carnivores running around that might try to bite my head off, but nothing that I could not handle...At least there were no huge T-Rex's or Allosaurs to  contend with. As far as food? Why could I not learn to diet on the lycopods like the Moschops? I could even supplement my diet with some Permian fish! The atmosphere? Well...I would just have to evolve faster! I think that this here was a time after my own liking. I was about to inform Mr. Moschops that he had just convinced me to take up permanent residence when suddenly the scene began to change and the Moschops family shifted to their Burian positions. I found myself holding the card in my hand and immediately became aware of a siren in the distance, blaring it's all too familiar noisy music...







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