Elements of Time: Roman Soldiers Comic Book Ad

By Craig: Ok, where do I begin with this one. As some of my readers know, I have been a comic book guru since I learned how to read. My readers might also know that the comic books that I read are not typically of the superhero genre, although there was an occasional exception. For instance, I always enjoyed reading the Fantastic Four, and the old Marvel Two-in Ones starring Ben Grimm (AKA The Thing) who always managed to find trouble wherever he turned. I especially enjoyed it when he got his own comic book in the early 1980s. I don't think that it lasted that long, but I enjoyed it while it did. When I made it to high school I lost interest in comic books, and only returned to them a few years back when my son was in elementary school, and I started to live vicariously through them again. They seemed to transport me back to another time, a simpler time. At least simple for me. My parents might not have thought so, but to me it was a good time.

One of the things that always fascinated me about comic books back in those days were the ads. I previously wrote about the famous Sea Monkey ad a few years back in a post that you can find here https://crhipkins.blogspot.com/2014/02/elements-of-time-sea-monkeys.html
In 1976 my twin brother Jay approached me one day and said "look at this!" I can still remember the excitement in his voice. He handed me a copy of Grimm's Ghost Stories which in those days was published by Gold Key comics. I looked at the comic that he had given me. The cover showed an elderly man holding a knife over a ghost sitting in a wheelchair. The caption read "His brother was dead-but that wasn't enough! His ghost had to die too!" I remember looking at it and then Jay told me to turn it over. I was amazed at what I saw. It was a full page color add of a battle scene from ancient Rome complete with chariots, catapults and archers. At the top in bright red ink it said 132pc Roman Soldiers Set. Underneath this bold print it gave a vivid description of what you might be able to do with this set of soldiers.
2 Complete Roman Armies! Fight again the battles of the old Roman Civil War-Roman against Roman! Or mount your own attack against a town or city. Every piece of molded plastic-each on its own base. Two complete armies, one in blue, one in yellow! Your satisfaction guaranteed or full refund! 
Of course, I have no recollection of reading this fine print, especially the part where it states "satisfaction guaranteed." At eight years of age we hardly knew what this meant. No! Even if we did read this part of the add we merely glossed over it. It was not important. The fascinating battle scene is what had our attention. In the foreground was a muscular soldier holding a sword out in front of him, his mouth wide open as if he were issuing a command, or perhaps he was so intent on meeting an opponent that he was in the process of a barbaric yawp as he charged at his victim. For his opponent would surely be a victim as this soldier could never die. He was Julius Caesar or Augustus. He was too formidable a force to ever lose his life in battle.  I could only imagine how the next scene would play out! And wait! The best part was that Jay and I could decide the outcome if we rushed a filled out coupon along with $2.25 to Roman War Soldiers in Westbury N.Y!!

This was a no-brainer. We simply had to have this playset. The only trouble was how we would come up with the formidable sum of $2.25 to get it. I have absolutely no recollection of how we managed to get come up with the money. I do remember at about this time going door to door selling seeds and pens and hustling for cash so that I could buy comic books and baseball cards. Perhaps this is how we came up with the money, or maybe it was the dollar that our grandfather gave us every week when we went in to visit him in the city. I do not recall, but it doesn't really matter. What I do remember is Jay stuffing two well worn dollars and a quarter into an envelope along with the coupon and licking a stamp. We placed it in the mailbox, pulled the red flag up and waited. It was unbearable! Every day we would wait for the mailman Mr. Meagher, and then rush down to the mailbox to see if the package had arrived. One day, as if a miracle had just happened it arrived. The package was nothing fancy. A small white box that fit into the mailbox, but we immediately knew what it was. It had arrived from Westbury N.Y.! It was addressed to Jay Hipkins of Ragged Hill Rd. I tried to grab at it, but Jay was quicker and snatched it, and took off running toward the house with me in full pursuit. I remember the day as if it happened only yesterday because it was on a Saturday and we were going to Vermont. I followed Jay into the house and he was already attempting to tear the package open as if it contained the holy grail! Dumping the contents onto the counter we stared at it. I can only imagine the expressions on our face when we saw what the package contained. It must have been one of confusion and disappointment. 

"Is this it?" I can remember thinking. My twin Jay repeated this same question in his mind as the disappointment turned to anger.

"This is a rip-off!" I remember Jay saying. 

In front of us were these cheap thin yellow and blue pieces of plastic that fraudulently claimed to be Roman Soldiers! What we did not know at the time was that we had learned a valuable lesson in marketing. 

"Do not always believe what you see!"

What did we expect? Did we actually believe that the Roman soldiers would look like the heroic warriors captured in the ad? Looking at the ad today I am brought back in time over 4o years. As I stare at the ad some part of me still believes that it just might be able to come to life. The screaming warrior charging forth with his sword drawn rushes past the border of the page followed by other fearless helmeted soldiers slicing their way off the page until the colorful battle rendered in ink is finally complete, leaving a dusty blood soaked battlefield behind.

 I can still see my brother's disappointment and can still see him attempting to set the soldiers up on the counter in the kitchen. Half of them would not even stand on their bases. I do not recall what happened to them. I imagine that they disappeared in the closet and, eventually found themselves tossed in the garbage during one of our many moves. A quick search of E-Bay found these cheap pieces of my childhood memory selling for a lot more than $2.25. Today they are considered nostalgic items and I imagine that if my brother Jay were still alive today he would once again be anxiously awaiting the arrival of a small white package. This time purchased not under an illusion, but for sentiment and memory of a time now lost.